Happy Saturday Reader,

In a world where we're constantly surrounded by examples of success, it’s easy to think that the only way to achieve your goals is by obsessing over them.

This is one major challenge I’ve dealt with over the course of my life.

Overthinking may have helped me in math class, but it kept me stuck in every other aspect.

I learned this the hard way:

Overthinking stems from a place of fear.

I wanted security.

I wanted approval.

I wanted to avoid future pain.

And what did I assume was the solution, especially when nothing seemed to work?

Play out future scenarios like a broken record.

But the need to control our future will never play out to our advantage.

Yes, you can increase your probabilities by setting intentions. But the moment you cripple yourself with fear as a result, who ends up eating the shit end of the stick?

You.

And let me tell you from experience... it don't taste good.

So how do we train our minds to slow down?

To stop playing out scenarios on repeat?

To enjoy the present moment?

To appreciate the journey for what it is?

And if we slow our minds down, will that mean we’re somehow sacrificing our potential?

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The Unsexy Effects of Overthinking

If you were to ask me three months ago why I lived in my head, I’d tell you it’s because I want to change my life.

I want to succeed.

I want to design a meaningful future.

I want to challenge the depths of my mind to create something beautiful.

How else would I do this?

It’s like a dog chasing its own tail.

You feel like you’re making progress in the moment. But once you’re out of breath and decide to stop spinning in circles, you realize you’re right back where you started.

Don’t get me wrong…

There’s a time and place for sitting with your thoughts. And by no means am I suggesting to never create space to think.

Creating space is very valuable and I think more people would benefit from it. It’s only when you’re living 24/7 in your head that it becomes dangerous.

Let me tell you about the other drawbacks of overthinking.

You start to believe that the only way to solve a problem is by throwing your thoughts in a loop like a Formula 1 racer going round and round and round on his next racetrack.

Imagine you’re Lewis Hamilton, a seven-time World Champion, and you’re preparing yourself for the most important race of the year.

In your opinion, what would be the best use of Lewis’ time?

Is it to spend the entire day doing laps?

Is it to spend the entire day checking his car for malfunctions?

Is it to spend the entire day looking at a birds-eye view of the track, locating low- and high-speed corners?

Yes, each of these are wise for Lewis to consider. Ignoring any one of them would only hurt his performance. But you can only make great decisions from a state of balance.

A samurai can’t win a duel if he’s unstable.

In my opinion, Lewis should set aside time for each – it solidifies a well-rounded approach without boxing him into any weaknesses.

But what are some things we didn’t mention?

• Sleep
• Solitude
• Vitamins
• Nutrition
• Quality time w/ supportive people

An overthinker like my younger self would’ve said to hell with the rest.

Who has time for solitude when we’ve got a race to win?

I’m sure that even a champ like Lewis deals with his fair share of overthinking, but the picture I’m painting here is that there are things outside of your control, such as:

• Your mood
• Your health
• Other racers
• Unexpected events
• Weather conditions

In business, further examples would include the market, a pandemic, your network…

No matter how much you try to control, life will never fail to remind you that other things are at play.

I’m sure you can think of a random opportunity you’ve gotten that was completely out of your control. No sort of overthinking could’ve ever caused that.

No matter how talented you are (or think you are) at gathering and organizing thoughts, you will never be able to fully predict every possible outcome.

Which, by the way, should feel liberating.

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Slow The F*ck Down

Have you ever sat in the passenger seat with a reckless driver?

The one who rides peoples’ asses, honks when people don’t use their blinkers, and aggressively speeds past everyone like they're Lewis.

Can't forget the casual drive-by bird either 🖕

In your mind, you’re playing out countless what if’s, like:

• What if this ride costs me my life?
• What if we wreck and I become paralyzed?
• What if he messes with the wrong person and they pull out a f*cking gun and shoot us?

(This might seem absurd but it has actually happened – heard a case about it in Houston last year)

All you can fantasize about is snapping the door open at the next stoplight and running away.

Those “what if’s” stem from a desire for control. If you didn’t feel the need to take the wheel, you wouldn’t be playing out these what if’s in your mind.

In other words, your overthinking is caused by living in fear.

You’re fearful of the worst possible outcome, so you think maybe just one more thought will increase your chances of survival.

Yes, dramatic, but that’s exactly what the mind loves – melodrama.

While we might not be sitting in the passenger seat with a reckless driver every day, we are definitely sacrificing our well-being by seeking control.

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Create Space

You cannot run a 2-day marathon without taking a water break.

You cannot fly a plane across the world without refilling your fuel.

You cannot give a great speech without deep breaths in between sentences.

The same applies to the process of accomplishing your goals.

This was a beautiful discovery for me (hopefully it serves you too).

I realized that while on my daily walks, I actually don’t have to use my mind with every single step I take.

I can allow myself to breathe.

To be present.

To listen to the birds chirping and the kids laughing and the water splashing at the local pool.

I learned that being present doesn’t come with a cost – it actually comes with benefits.

Just like I mentioned in my last letter, if you pull all-nighters every time you have a big exam, you might think you're making good decisions until you're sitting in class the next day unable to figure out what two plus two equals.

When you take a break from piecing a puzzle together, you come back with a fresher perspective (and you make more progress).

The overthinking mind thinks that any time spent not thinking about the puzzle is a waste of potential. This couldn’t be farther from the truth.

You need to rest your body in order to perform efficiently in the gym. Why would we think otherwise when it comes to our minds?

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Break The Addiction To Your Psyche

What if you could wake up in the morning, walk through life with excitement, and not worry about what happens next?

Or how you’ll show up on that Zoom call later?

Or what your boss might say after submitting that project?

What if you realized that even when shit hits the fan, things will still be okay?

This isn’t to say you’re not doing your best.

You’re just enjoying the process and choosing to live life in the present moment.

And when it’s time to shut lights off for the day, you simply let go, because you realize that no sort of thought process will make a difference in that moment.

For even the most seasoned meditator, this is still easier said than done. But regardless, it’s an intention worth setting.

Because if you’re an overthinker, you’re addicted to your psyche.

And it’s up to you to break the cycle, otherwise, you’ll pay the price in pain for the rest of your life.

Realizing that it’s simply an addiction will help you break the pattern.

It will take time and effort just like anything else that’s worthwhile.

So how can we confirm that our antidote to overthinking is actually working?

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The Simple Solution to Overanalyzing

We overanalyze when we’re in states of stress. What we don’t realize is that this comes with a price our brains have to pay.

Neurons that fire together wire together.

So if we’re constantly feeling the need to overthink, we’re telling our minds that we’ll never come up with a quick solution. It always has to be thrown on repeat.

But you are capable of solving difficult things fast. It's just a muscle that needs development.

Here’s how you fix your overthinking:

Focus on your awareness.

Sit in the passenger seat of the reckless mind and notice its behavior. Don’t try to change anything; simply become aware.

When you raise your awareness, you begin the process of slowing down brain waves.

You enter a calmer state of mind, which is the only place where magic can happen.

Helpful thoughts start to synchronize, and what syncs in the brain links in the brain.

S/o Joe Dispenza.

On the flip side, if you’re running late for a flight, you’re going to make all kinds of silly decisions, like treating your Uber driver like a prick, pushing people out of your way, and dropping your wallet in the midst of a rush.

Yeah, you might make it to your flight on time, but now you’ve shot yourself in the foot by losing your boarding pass.

When you obsess over solving a problem, you rob yourself of clarity.

You put yourself in fight or flight mode.

You run to the bushes to hide.

And while this may have been helpful for cavemen, when it comes to building your dream life, it’s simply not useful.

Just like checking for the millionth time what time your flight boards. You already know what time it is – believe in yourself. Even if something bad happens, that’s okay because life always figures itself out.

If you live your life in emergency mode, you rob yourself of the energy required for growth and repair. Without quality energy, it’s difficult to build meaningful projects that fulfill you.

Good, valuable decisions can only be made from a place of stillness and clarity. You achieve that by raising your awareness and deciding to stay in that seat.

Keyword: decide.

“How you think and how you feel creates your life. If you don’t change the way you think or feel, your life is going to stay the same because you’re the same.” –Joe Dispenza

Change is possible, and necessary for designing a fulfilling life.

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Salvage Your Resources

If you’re not present, you’ll pay the price in pain.

Time will fly by and you’ll realize that catching your tail is impossible.

Better to recognize that now before it’s too late.

No matter what your circumstances are, beauty lies all around you.

The fact that you’re alive is an absolute miracle.

Somehow one out of a million sperm cells met an egg inside of a uterus at just the right time and formed the creation process of you.

Don’t take that for granted.

I understand that terrible things happen.

I understand how powerful fears and worries can be.

I understand how it is to feel like there isn’t light at the end of the tunnel.

But give yourself permission to search for a new light. Only then can you truly step out of the darkness.

Most of all, while you’re on this journey, know that obsessing over the light isn’t how you create meaningful change.

Simply set the intention and remind yourself to enjoy the process.

And if you ever lose yourself, search for awareness.

Avoid self-sabotage because it will not serve you.

That reason alone should be enough.

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Continue The Climb

The secret to ascending spiritually is to never look down. Only up.

Letting go is the key, and awareness helps you do that.

Don’t self-sabotage when fear or shame arises, simply let go.

If you fail at letting go, let go.

If you don’t now, you’ll need to later and it won’t be as easy.

So whenever you’re ready, find gratitude for your hardships because each one helps shape you as the individual you seek to become.

A life without struggle is meaningless.

So lean into it.

And give yourself grace.

Your life will always be better that way.

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Cheers,

A

P.S. If this letter resonated with you and you're looking for further help, I'm looking for one person to take on for a 4-week coaching program (free for only the first round). If that sounds interesting, book a discovery call here to see if we're a good fit :)