Hey Reader,

In a world full of distractions, it can be difficult to feel like you’re actually making progress.

All these dreams and wants and amazing ideas.

But there's only so much time in a day.

Your attention is scarce.

And not only do you desperately need your attention, so does your coworker, your partner, your friend…

The list goes on.

The worst part is the end of the day, when you look back and feel like you got nothing done.

You’re still where you were that morning.

In comes the aggravating, ridiculous thoughts about yourself:

“Why can’t you ever do anything meaningful with your life man?”

“Everybody else out there making progress… this all you got?”

"...really?"

This can easily become a vicious cycle of self-sabotage.

Wake up with excitement, motivated for the day just to get that call on your drive to work.

It’s your boss again.

And he’s not happy.

Now, you have to check off a list made by someone else, and your goals get put to the wayside.

This is a surefire way to feeling empty about life.

Then, you pay too much attention to what everyone else is doing.

Kathy down the road just added a new rosebush to her lawn. Now we gotta f*cking add a rosebush to our lawn.

Add social media to the equation?

Now, it's keeping up with the Joneses on crack.

And not only do you feel the pressure from watching others thrive, but you also have ads, notifications, and popups endlessly begging for your attention.

"Me, me, me... pick me Reader!"

Instagram wants you posting trends.

YouTube wants you to watch the next video.

Twitter wants you to keep refreshing until you lose your mind.

Don’t get me started on the rough days at work.

If only Sally could get her job done right and you didn't always have to come in like Captain-Save-A-Day.

Shiet. We just need a break. Ain't nobody got time for balance.

By the end of the day, all we want is to grab a 10-piece combo of traditional bone-in Hot Honey & Korean BBQ sauce – make the fries extra crispy please – from Wingstop, then slap our happy asses on that couch and numb ourselves with the next trending show on Netflix.

Ha.

If you can’t tell, I’ve been there. Not long ago either.

​

Too Many Interests, Not Enough Time

As a creator, I want to do everything. It’s a blessing and a burden.

It's because I have mad respect for:

• artists
• authors
• designers
• musicians
• entrepreneurs
• photographers
• copywriters
• marketers
• painters

They fascinate me.

They inspire me to learn. To grow. To forget about time.

But my attention often gets spread thinner than cream cheese on a hot Sunday morning.

One month, I’m obsessing over personal branding.

The next, it’s copywriting.

And then, it’s photography.

Maybe that’s because I finally received my Fujifilm x100v. Waited 10 months for this thing! The wait was worth it. I feel like a straight-up 7-year-old again.

Anyway…

While I love following my curiosity, too many times have I crawled in bed for the night and felt like I didn’t make any progress.

I feel like I’m not alone with this issue either.

I’ve heard similar situations from all walks of life – entrepreneurs, creators, my corporate world peeps, and older and younger generations. It almost seems like a pandemic itself.

The worst problem about it is that this feeling is holding you back from your potential.

If you feel worthless, how do you muster up the energy and the drive to make a meaningful difference for yourself?

...when all you're doing is beating yourself up?

​

Discover Your Target

If you don’t know where to aim, you’ll never hit your target.

So what does your dream life actually look like?

At 30? 40? 50?

Think about it.

Or, for starters, just imagine your lifestyle at age 60 (this usually is enough time horizon to visualize what your future looks like).

Are you still working?

What are your hobbies, if any?

Are you playing with your grandkids?

Stop reading this, look up (because that’s what we do when we ponder), and think about it.

Don’t just skim over those questions like the rest of society. You’re here to be the designer, not a follower.

Think about it.

…

Okay.

Now, here’s your reality check:

Are you doing the habits today to support your answers?

If you want to play soccer with your grandkids, are you exercising?

Have you considered what kind of work would fulfill you 30+ years from now?

It’s important to gain the clarity now as opposed to letting life write your story for you.

A few weeks ago, I talked about how to take the pen back and become the author of your story. If we don’t protect our rights, someone else will become the author. And there’s a good chance we won’t like the outcome. So use the pen while you can.

Start with the end in mind.

What does Reader truly want?

Get clear on what your dream lifestyle looks and feels like, so you can reevaluate your current day-to-day activities, commitments, and decisions. Some people wait too late to take this seriously (I wonder if you can think of one person who has...)

Don’t end up like that.

​

Rewire Your System

Now, let’s reflect on your daily routine.

Which parts of it align with your 60-year-old lifestyle? Which do not?

What is one thing you could add to your day?

What is one thing you could remove?

When we know where to aim, we increase our chances of hitting the target. The target in this case is the life you want to live.

It will never happen magically on its own.

An aspiring chef must learn how to cook.

A hungry creator must obsess over the ingredients.

And a multi-platinum artist once needed to learn the ropes of music production to reach their level of success.

Be mindful of your impulses too. They can spark chain reactions to other bad decisions that leave you feeling stuck at the end of the day. For example, having a glass of wine after work can lead you to eating sweets at the end of the night.

Or maybe that’s just me.

The point is not perfection; it’s intention.

Don’t search for every answer under the sun. Just find one tweak you can make and start applying it to your daily lifestyle.

Then, make it a habit to periodically reflect how things are playing out. You'll always be 1% better that way.

​

Hold Yourself Accountable

The key to gaining confidence is holding the promises you make to yourself.

I always say to start small.

We don’t need to overwhelm ourselves. Think of one small habit you can make this week and promise yourself that you'll do it.

One new habit I'm instilling is writing this newsletter every week. The idea of missing a week sounds more painful than anything.

Make the thought of not doing it so painful that your progress becomes inevitable. We run away from pain faster than we race toward pleasure.

And good God stop beating yourself up if you miss a day. Beating yourself up will get you nowhere. Hop back up, realize you missed a day, and use that pain as motivation to avoid missing a day again.

Throughout this letter, what are some of the ideas that have popped in your mind? Each of them popped up for a reason.

You already know what difference needs to be made. Because you're human and you're wise. Now, it’s a matter of holding yourself accountable.

And if you need to find an accountability partner, do it.

But hold your promise and stick to your word.

​

Accept, Don’t Settle

The best part is that we don’t have to wait until we’re 60 to appreciate the fruits of our labor.

My biggest awakening was realizing how beautiful the present moment is. I lived so much of my early twenties looking for the next second, the next moment, and the next event.

You know that feeling when you have an exciting music festival or event coming up, and the days get closer and closer?

The anticipation… after waiting for months?

That’s the feeling I was always searching for, thinking that’s what life was all about.

But it’s not.

Which is good.

The beauty is in the nuance.

The beauty is in the mundane.

The beauty is in your ability to accept.

Don’t believe me? You will when you’re 60. Hopefully.

My younger self was so wrapped up in what life was going to be like in the future. To hell with the present moment; anything is better than this.

Had I continued life that way, I’d never be satisfied. I’d never feel complete. I’d be a dog chasing his own tail.

While the excitement of a music festival creeping up does feel amazing – I’m feeling it right now – what feels better and more sustainable is enjoying the now.

Cliché, Ashton…

Bear with me.

I know how much of a platitude it is to enjoy the now, but hear me out:

The key to presence is acceptance. Not settling, but accepting.

When we settle, we throw in the towel.

When we accept, we take extreme ownership and allow ourselves to discover a new plan.

So you tell me...

Which one do you think is more useful?

​

Cheers,

Ashton

P.S. Fast forward to when this letter is sent, I'm probably dancing my ass off at EDCLV (or sleeping in so that I can later). This is my favorite place ever. Love you guys, wish you well, and hope you have a fantastic weekend ❤️